I think every mom, while pregnant with her second, has been nervous and sad about the impact that it will have on their first. I decided I wanted to have children close together because I didn't see why Parker deserved all of this individual time, but no future children did. And as much as I believed that, as I approached the end of my pregnancy, I was still a little bit sad for him.
I was sad that he wouldn't get quite as much attention, that he wouldn't get to be that only child and only grandchild anymore. I was worried about how it would affect him and if he would act out.
When I was pregnant I saw a picture of a pregnant lady sitting on a hospital bed saying goodbye to her first born. And the hormones were out of control and it made me cry. When I went into labour, Parker was at my parents as they had been watching him for our anniversary and then kept watching him since I was sick all day long. So because I didn't know I was going to go into labour at that point, I didn't have to say goodbye to him one last time as an only child. And for hormones sake, that was probably a good thing.
But now I look at these two boys of mine and think that there was absolutely nothing to be sad about. When Parker became a big brother he didn't lose anything. He gained a best friend, someone he will be able to talk to and connect with. The person who will understand what he's going through if he ever has to deal with death or sickness in the family. The person he can talk to about how crazy mom and dad are and how they just don't understand what it's like to be young. Someone he can play with, get in trouble with.
These boys love each other so much, and I'm so glad that I was able to give them each other. The love honestly does multiply. And not only is there more love from me and Ryan but there is just an incredible amount of love between them, which is amazing to watch from two people who are so little that they don't really understand what love is yet.
My hope for them is that they are always good to each other, that they always love each other and although I know that siblings can be so different and aren't always friends, I hope that they are. I know that there will be times growing up that they will hate each other, but I've always been one to look at my family long term, and I hope that as adults they can be friends, they want to be around each other, and they want to be around us.